I got the letter from my ex spouse yesterday.
It was a too much unexpected letter.
After we were divorced, about 20 year passes. I have never a chance to meet him, and think never wanting to meet him. But the letter tells me that I still hate him and I never forgive him. Until I get this letter, I don’t know about my subconscious hostility.
A human creature is a living thing which cannot be understood.
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I think I know how you feel. It seems like the years blur the past but the pain remains.