o6asan's soliloquy.

   Recently, I fall into a TV drama, ‘カーネーション‘. It is based on the life of the fashion designer Koshino Ayako (小篠綾子).　She was the mother of the famous designers, Koshino sisters.

   There are two characters, Yasuoka Tamae (安岡玉枝) and Yasuoka Yaeko (安岡八重子). Tamae is a mother-in-law of Yaeko. Tamae had two sons she took care of after her husband dying from a disease in a war, and both of them were killed in another war. Because of that, she carried grudges. One of her sons was Yaeko’s husband, so Yaeko lost her husband in the war, too. But Tamae said that all of them was Yaeko’s fault and blamed her. In such cases, to blame the nearest person to oneself is not at all unusual.

   After the episodes of the war, the drama had some other ones, then today, the reconciliation between two persons aired. Tamae apologized to Yaeko about the past and Yaeko kept silence. But we can see Yaeko’s forgiveness on her face.

   When I finished watching it, I remembered my own episode about ‘The letter.‘ As I look back on myself, I probably can’t forgive him even now. I wonder why Yaeko can do it. She is a big-hearted person, and, her situation is very similar to her mother-in-law’s, so she might get mother’s feelings very much and might sympathize with her. Still, it is very difficult for me to relive the tolerance of Yaeko.

Category: private remark
by o6asan
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Juuni Kokuki — 十二国記
(The Twelve Kingdoms)

Rakusho no Goku — 落照の獄
(A jail of the declining Light)

By Ono Fuyumi — 小野不由美

Translated by o6asan

   Eiko(瑛庚) laughed with pain……He thought ‘You talk about Shudatsu(狩獺) at the moment?’
   But Hogetsu(蒲月) gave his head a subtle shake.
   ”My sister, Seika(清花), feels uneasy. I don’t know why she made up her mind for seeing Shunryo(駿良)’s parents, but I think I know about her purpose. For the death penalty of Shudatsu(狩獺) — and for making herself easy by it.”
   ”I told her the death penalty has no power of stopping crimes……”
   Eiko(瑛庚) said, but Hogetsu(蒲月) nodded no.
   ”I think she didn’t have such an idea. Now, the peace of Shiso(芝草) is broken, and the process influences into the palace before we know. They already feel uneasy, the existence of Shudatsu(狩獺) makes them realize the existence of such criminals who are beyond saving. Beyond understanding and beyond empathizing with. The existence of someone who violates axiomatic justice and who does not care for it at all makes them uneasy, which put people like her into severe anxiety.”
   Hogetsu(蒲月) said and smiled weakly.
   ”If even Shudatsu(狩獺) is removed, the uneasiness of them is removed, too. People or she can believe the world on some level. In that way, they are going to fix the world they can see.”
   ”That — Did Seika(清花) say?”
   ”No. I think so by myself. Ordinary people in my mind tell me so.”
   I see, Eiko(瑛庚) murmured in his mind.
   ”They fix the world by removing……”
   Suddenly, he remembered Enga(淵雅)’s words.
   ”The word, monster, regards a criminal who cannot be understood easily as inferior to other things as human……”
   Hogetsu(蒲月) put his head on one side mystifyingly.
   ”It’s Dai-shiko(大司寇)’s words. When I heard the words, I think there was something in them, and it is true for me still now. We are coward more than we think about ourselves. We cannot be easy except we disconnect from things we never understand……”
   When he ignored the fourth letter of apology from Keishi(恵施), the feelings must have been in his mind. At that time, he felt he couldn’t keep up with her any more — It must have been an impulsive movement to disconnect from things he never understood and to drive her out a place where he could not see.
   When he looked back, Eiko(瑛庚) did to offer her discharge and to redeem for her victims, but he never met her personally. Probably, he must have wanted to separate Keishi(恵施) to the place where he never saw. Though he helped her because he felt responsibility and obligation, probably he should have visited her in jail and have talked with her personally. Keishi(恵施) might not have repeated the same crime if he did so at least.
   ”Such a creature human being is.”
   Hogetsu(蒲月) said and was patting Eiko(瑛庚)’s hands consolingly.
   ”But I have an official of the country in my mind, too. I know I have to think about and I know I have to put my feelings aside. I don’t belong to Shukan(秋官), but I think I know your burden you have on your back now, grandfather.”
   Eiko(瑛庚) just nodded.
   ”Please leave Riri(李理) and me to look after my sister, and devote yourself to your duty as Shikei(司刑), sir.”

Category: translation
Tags: « Juuni Kokuki • Rakusho no Goku »
by o6asan
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Juuni Kokuki — 十二国記
(The Twelve Kingdoms)

Rakusho no Goku — 落照の獄
(A jail of the declining Light)

By Ono Fuyumi — 小野不由美

Translated by o6asan

7

   At night, Hogetsu(蒲月) rushed into Eiko(瑛庚)’s study.
   ”– I heard a serious matter happened. –”
   He said so with gasping for breath. Eiko(瑛庚) nodded simply.
   ”I’m sorry, sir. I wish I were here and could have kept her back.”
   ”You need not apologize. …… Who told you the story?”
   ”My manservant. — Before that, I heard something had happened at Shikei(司刑)’s residence. But I could not hear what happened really.”
   Eiko(瑛庚) smiled wryly.
   ”Anybody can know because that was at the gate. Or, in my servants I have someone who can’t keep a secret. — Well, either way, people will talk.”
   Said Eiko(瑛庚) and looked out of window. From the dark garden, cool night wind blew in. He felt — autumn has come.
   ”If Shiho(司法) or Sho-shiko(小司寇) know this matter, what will they do?”
   ”They will order me to get out of this case.”
   Answering to him, Eiko(瑛庚) thought he can accept it if it happens. This case was above and beyond Eiko(瑛庚)’s ability. Not only he got out of the case but also he lost the position, Shikei(司刑), those might happen, but he felt it wasn’t so bad.
   Eiko(瑛庚) thought so, and looked at Hogetsu(蒲月).
   ”…… It may have harmful side effects on you.”
   Hogetsu(蒲月) kneeled down across from Eiko(瑛庚). He took Eiko(瑛庚)’s hands between his.
   ”Don’t worry about such a thing, sir.”
   ”But –”
   Hogetsu(蒲月) was only beginning an official of the country. He might lost his position which he obtained with effort.
   ”Don’t blame Seika(清花), son.”
   Eiko(瑛庚) didn’t understand what Seika(清花) thought about but he knew her actions were never from evil thoughts. Hearing the details from the people around him, recently Seika(清花) went down to Shiso(芝草). Besides, she visited and talked with not only Shunryo(駿良)’s parents but also the bereaved. She would sympathize with their having talked story. The action that she caused was too hasty, but he could not deny her heart.
   Eiko(瑛庚) said so, and Hogetsu(蒲月) agreed with him.
   ”It may be the result that we had poor communication. I should have explained as much as possible in words about my duty. At that moment, what I think, and what I hesitate.”
   Though, he did not think himself did so if he could. He believed Seika(清花) could not understand it, and he did not want her to understand. — This is not denial. It is maybe opposite idea for him. Seika(清花) shows righteous indignation simply and is angered candidly, which he wants her to do.
   But, his self-centered idea like this might make Seika(清花) angry, and Keishi(恵施) angry, too. All of them were Eiko(瑛庚)’s fault because both of them blamed him by the same things at least. — When he thinking, Hogetsu(蒲月) talked to him calmly.
   ”Grandfather, it’s not your fault, sir.”
   ”…… Do you think so?”
   ”Indeed, sir. It’s not your fault and it’s not my sister’s fault, either. All of them is caused by Shudatsu(狩獺).”

Category: translation
Tags: « Juuni Kokuki • Rakusho no Goku »
by o6asan
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   Happy New Year! It is the beginning of a new year.

   This is the year of the Tatsu, according to the Oriental Zodiac.

   Though ‘tatsu’ is called ‘dragon’ in English, I think they are more different than might first be surmised. Both of them have their own history, so I’m not surprised it. In the Oriental Zodiac we write it by 辰, and we also use 龍 and 竜 as a mythical animal. In Japanese the year of the dragon is called ‘Tatsu doshi(たつどし)’. You can see ‘Ryu’ on a right-side painting by Hokusai(北斎), ‘ryu’ and ‘tatsu’ mean the same mythical animal.

   Last year, we had a lot of natural and artificial disasters in and out of Japan. I pray this year will be a happier year.

   Gods bless you, guys!

Category: everyday life
by o6asan
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Juuni Kokuki — 十二国記
(The Twelve Kingdoms)

Rakusho no Goku — 落照の獄
(A jail of the declining Light)

By Ono Fuyumi — 小野不由美

Translated by o6asan

   He sighed in front of the door where he couldn’t hear any sounds, and returned to the main building. At the steps of the main building, Riri(李理) wrapped up in a small ball and was on the verge of tears.
   ”Riri(李理)–”
   ”……Do you drive Mammy out, Daddy?”
   His daughter who held her knees looked up at Eiko(瑛庚)’s face, and asked. Eiko(瑛庚) sat at her side and nodded no.
   ”I never do such a thing.”
   ”But, Mammy says so. You do drive Mammy and me out, Daddy.”
   Eiko(瑛庚) wondered how she took care of Riri(李理). He could accept Seika(清花)’s leaving, but how she would do about Riri(李理). She would maybe take her daughter with herself as a common person, but, the thought brought the double sights of Riri(李理) and Shunryo(駿良) to him immediately.
   The lower world(下界) was wasted. He felt as if he threw out his innocent young daughter in the monster-ridden world as Shudatsu(狩獺) dominating over.
   ”I never throw out you and your mother. I always want you two to be with me. Or do you want to get out here, my daughter?”
   Riri(李理) shook her head.
   ”Then, will you promise me? You are never going anywhere.”
   –And you are never caught by a monster as Shudatsu(狩獺).
   Riri(李理) nodded with a very earnest expression. Seeing her face, Eiko(瑛庚) feared.
   If anything happens to my daughter.
   Jokyu(如翕) said that the person got the death if he murdered someone is not the theory but a reflex. Eiko(瑛庚) thought he was right. Such a thing, to kill such an innocent young creature as his daughter with unsparing brutality, should not be tolerated. He never overlooked it and the person who dare commit such a crime should be prepared himself for his death.
   If Shudatsu(狩獺) had murdered Riri(李理), Eiko(瑛庚) would never have forgiven him. If Shiho(司法) didn’t kill him, Eiko(瑛庚) would put Shudatsu(狩獺) to the sword by himself. As a result, he didn’t mind even if he was accused of a crime.
   –There is no choice except the death penalty.
   As soon as he thought so, he got a chill down his back. He felt like making a step toward the place where not making a step into.
   He wondered what his hesitation was. — Eiko(瑛庚), who was in thought, patted Riri(李理)’s cheeks.
   ”Can you comfort your mother?”
   Riri(李理) nodded her head, got up abruptly and ran in her mother’s room. Her small back went away. It was getting away smaller and smaller.
   Eiko(瑛庚) stared after his young daughter.

Category: translation
Tags: « Juuni Kokuki • Rakusho no Goku »
by o6asan
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Juuni Kokuki — 十二国記
(The Twelve Kingdoms)

Rakusho no Goku — 落照の獄
(A jail of the declining Light)

By Ono Fuyumi — 小野不由美

Translated by o6asan

   He could image her loneliness she felt. Actually, once Eiko(瑛庚) resigned his position and surrendered his Senseki(仙籍), and went out of power. After Keishi(恵施) leaving. He didn’t have trouble making a living because he had his own savings and benefits from the country, but, it was a traumatic experience that he had nowhere to go. He had no acquaintance and old friend, including their children. Their grandchildren or relatives were somewhere, but he couldn’t find them. All the places where he had lived, including his hometown, was noticeably different. As he surrendered his Senseki(仙籍) because of taking responsibility for a scandal, he couldn’t do neither visiting his second son was a state official nor depending on his close peers. To avoid meeting and talking others, Eiko(瑛庚) had no choice except belonging at home. Eiko(瑛庚) cut himself off from the world completely.
   He thought the story of how affair had happened was very ironical at the moment. The term, while belonging at home, Eiko(瑛庚) met Seika(清花) and got remarried to her. The reason why Eiko(瑛庚) shut himself up in his house was Keishi(恵施), who was Eiko(瑛庚)’s first wife, tried her hand at criminal act.
   Eiko(瑛庚) didn’t know about Keishi(恵施)’s life as a common person, after her leaving him. Eiko(瑛庚) offered assistance to Keishi(恵施), but she refused it and disappeared in the street. It was after five years that he heard of her again. Keishi(恵施) was arrested because she took enormous money and goods by cheating people, using the name of Eiko(瑛庚) who was one of top officials and putting a word or favors into her victims’ ear. The investigation brought out Eiko(瑛庚) having no relation with it, but he couldn’t stay as an official anymore. He resigned to take responsibility for it and went out of power.
   – What was she thinking about?
   Eiko(瑛庚) thought of Keishi(恵施) as a good woman. He could imagine she was the last person tried her hand at criminal act. He thought she was probably reduced to poverty, which made her be tempted by an evil spirit, and he found it painful. After her arrested, she wrote a letter of apology many times and he felt her sincere reflection, so Eiko(瑛庚) offered Shishi(司刺) to discharge about his own damage. As her former husband, he redeemed for her victims. For that, she sent a letter with a lot of thanks for him, after serving 6-month jail sentence, she got out of his sight. A year later he heard of Keishi(恵施) again, who was arrested at Kin-shu(均州) for similar offenses.
   He had a bitter taste in his mouth when looking back at that time. Her letter of apology and his discharge offering, the same things were repeated, but Keishi(恵施) did the same crime again and again afterward. The more crimes the less damages, but Eiko(瑛庚) couldn’t help accepting the fact that a person exists who is never reformed. He ignored her fourth letter of apology without standing. At that time, it was three years since he had gone out of power, he got remarried to Seika(清花) and was recalled to his former position of the government.
   After recalled to his position, Eiko(瑛庚) tried and tried to look into the matter of Keishi(恵施), but her action was beyond his understanding. For the interrogation of Tenkei(典刑) in the prefecture(郡), Keishi(恵施) stuck her chest out and said that it was the revenge for Eiko(瑛庚) who looked down on her. According to some sources, her immediate motive was money and goods. Keishi(恵施) was poor in the lower world(下界) as Eiko(瑛庚) guessed it. But actually Eiko(瑛庚) found Keishi(恵施) had thought to try her hand at criminal act itself was to revenge for him. Keishi(恵施) deceived wealthy merchants or local officials to prove herself not to be stupid. At her first jail sentense, she showed her deep regret and officials released her because of believing it, but her interrogation under second arrest, she spoke she never regret at all. –For Eiko(瑛庚) it was beyond understanding though, they said Keishi(恵施) definitely considered breaking and evading the law were the revenge for Eiko(瑛庚).
   The Tenkei(典刑), who interrogated her, commented that she had obsessive desire for revenge and hostility for husband, but Eiko(瑛庚) could not understand why she had hated him so much. At any rate, after Eiko(瑛庚) gave up Keishi(恵施), he heard of her who repeated the same crime for living. She always used the same methods, so anyone wasn’t decieved gradually and he became not to hear of her. Eiko(瑛庚) did not know how she is doing.
   It was not always true that Seika(清花) followed in Keishi(恵施)’s footsteps because she went back to the ground, but he could never forget the experiences with Keishi(恵施).

Category: translation
Tags: « Juuni Kokuki • Rakusho no Goku »
by o6asan
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   One of TBS programs, 「報道の日2011」, was very interesting. It was broadcast from 8:00 to 22:54(JST) and had four parts.

   I only watched from 14:40 to 17:00. But it made me exhausted. It was a part of third part which was 14:25 to 19:25.

   Third part content was the videos of March 11th. And they re-edited all their files in chronological order and broadcasted in real time. So, I, for the first time, watched the videos which had been shot between the earthquake caming and the tsunami reaching.

   Knowing that it may sound imprudent, I felt very proud of the buildings of Japan being really strong. In spite of such a violent earthquake, on the videos I could scarcely see broken buildings before the tsunami attacking.

   If the tsunami had not attacked, the number of its victims would have decreased very much.

Category: private remark
by o6asan
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   This morning I couldn’t access ‘o6asan’s soliloquy.’ All my sites exist on A WordPress3.2.1 network, and other two my sites I could. So, ‘What’s wrong with ‘o6asan’s soliloquy.’?', I thought.

   I thought some ways to resolve this. First, I logged on ‘phpMyAdmin’. I optimized and repaired all tables. Though I concerned I would need several steps, after this the trouble disappeared.

   Now, I’m happy. (^_^)

Category: WordPress
Tags: « TroubleShooting »
by o6asan
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I feel I was very busy in this October, but I have been to Iceland from October 27 to November 3 because I planned it ahead of time. It’s very far from Japan.    I worried very much whether I would wake up or not on the day. Until 5:00 a.m. I had need to leave my house for the airport. In my life, I had never concerned about my wake-up time, but since my retirement on this March 31 my body condition was changed. I sometimes could not wake up when I had need to get up in the morning. Well, the result was fine.    I just happened to travel to Iceland. After a long interval, I planed to go abroad this year. But, the tour I want to join was not available or the tour I didn’t want was available, so I just couldn’t turn it into reality. Finally, I could schedule this tour. It just happened and I saw the aurora there. You envy me? (^_^)    After I returned, I examined the bus route with Google map. First, I examined place names in Katakana(カタカナ), but I found so many names didn’t appear. Next, I looked for the names by Icelandic spelling. I’ve not found some names yet. But most part I found, I think. (See figure 1).    Before my departure, I saw how to take aurora. It needs ISO800 and exposure 3 seconds at least. My digital camera (CASIO EX-V7) has no such ability. It has a manual shooting mode, but if I use both manual aperture and shutter speed, the ISO is fixed at 64. ‘Be damned if you do, damned if you don’t’. However, I can’t afford to buy new one only for this purpose. I wondered later, nowadays, whether I could have rent a digital camera which has such ability.    As a result, it wasn’t possible. I dare post my pictures here, subtle. You can see the aurora there, but they are so grainy because of ISO1600. This time, I joined a group travel of a travel agent, so I had company. The group was small, just gentle people who were punctual, so the journey was pleasant. The group included a person who more prepared to take pictures of the aurora, and I asked him send his aurora pictures for me. If they arrive, I’ll show you them to compare with mine……

Large map　Figure１

Category: travel
by o6asan
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   Last night (actually it was after midnight, so I should say ‘tonight’, though) my server on XREA+ was down.
   According to XREA+ admin report, it was from 00:10a.m. to 01:60a.m. — What is ’01:60′? A written mistake of ’01:06′ by human or an error of ’02:00′ by a program. Which? — It has been the first time since I started to use the server, but I found there was a previous failure report on July 07.

   Though its cause is not written, its resolution took about an hour, so it is probably O.K., I think. I wonder this frequency is no problem?

   It’s time to bring back my site to on my home server, but very busy my offline life now, so I still can’t get into. (´д｀ι)

Category: everyday life
Tags: « TroubleShooting »
by o6asan
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